Emotions are a result of your beliefs about a certain experience, problem, information, etc…Painful emotions are attached to painful memories and experiences.
If you are like I was, you get so angry at yourself for the emotions that you can’t help but feel, and it’s not just any emotion that causes this anger. It is a painful emotion attached to painful memories and experiences in your life, past or present. The depth of these emotions are tangled with your heart and soul causing the confusion in your mind, which only wants to make you dismiss and forget…so you can move on.
But the fact that you can’t forget and choose to dismiss what makes you angry.
This type of anger causes so much distress and sickness in the heart that we either internalize, turning it into depression or display it outwardly through passive aggressiveness, sarcasm, verbal, and/or even physical aggression.
Being angry at yourself can and has caused you to hurt yourself in the most destructive was from self-sabotaging behaviors/relationships, alcohol/drugs, to indecent sexual behaviors as a way to cope. You believe that you don’t deserve more than what you have because of this self-anger and painful past or current actions; and when a good thing comes around you miss it because of dwelling on the pain.
There are ways to move on….
Let me just say we have right to feel the way we do!
Emotions of any kind are natural and they should never be discounted at any level of your life. You cannot help the way we feel, but you can help the way you continue to respond.
It is natural to get upset with yourself when you feel like you have been made a fool of or you feel that you didn’t live up to someone else’s potential in any experience of your life.
The problem it getting stuck there.
To make this become a stepping stone, it takes concentration and consistent change of you mental state of mind and belief system . Your heart is going to feel what it feels and our mind is going to make us try to believe that feeling, but you can tell your mind to believe whatever you want and train it to move past certain beliefs that cause painful emotions.
Here Are Ways To Get Your Emotions In Check
- This should only be done in matters relating to being stuck in a negative emotion for a long periods of time. Writing a list of the emotions you feel and attaching events and experiences to them can help you identify where the anger comes from.
- Affirmations are very effective if used daily or in extreme cases (only you can determine), multiple times a day.
- Making an effort to do things with yourself and for yourself is very important when becoming friends with yourself again.
- Because you have been an enemy within yourself for so long…being in love with yourself takes work and the best way to start is by identifying yourself as a friend and liking yourself.
- Taking time out for yourself and acknowledging your feelings/emotions is a step to identifying where you are and where you want to be.
- Journaling about your experience can be very helpful in helping you express how you feel about your past and present experiences, as well as help you follow current progress in making the changes that will get you unstuck.
- See the problem. Evaluate it and how it makes you feel. Challenge the belief of what this problem means to you, by viewing different perceptions (on purpose). Then assess the emotional response connected to each perception. This will help you keep your emotions in check…because problems and circumstances are not always as painful, urgent, or threatening as they may seem. It is your reaction that
Use these strategies and I guarantee you that you will start feeling better about yourself and your life if you do them consistently. If you only choose one, it will help make changes, but using all of the strategies listed above together will effectively help you progress and see significant changes. This will also lead to a change in lifestyle.
Until next time…Leap Off The Couch Into Your New Future learning to love yourself again!
Ashley M Dais
***P.P.S. If you want to learn more or feel you want more guidance, reach out at firstname.lastname@example.org we can discuss how we can become partners in soliciting change in your life!