Being an independent woman is a beautiful thing…
Being a strong independent woman is powerful to ourselves and others…but as an independent woman, you know being independent is no day at the park! You have to juggle multiple hats, hide almost all your emotions, and still keep up appearances that life is all good. You do this all while smiling, keeping your head up, and wearing cute heels!
It takes an independent woman like yourself to recognize strengths and weaknesses and understand how and where to stand strong and not give in. The problem is being and independent woman comes in when this becomes your identity and is mistaken for your personality and lack of openness.
I am independent and I don’t need anyone!
By it becoming your identity, I mean this is how you and others identify yourself…for example, “I am independent and I don’t need anyone,” whether it’s in your mind or if you say it aloud this is what you have come to believe and what you give by your actions and attitudes to those that are in your life (or trying to be in your life). Another example is that, because you are independent, you end of burning yourself out before asking for help. There are many reason you do this to yourself, either you still have a hard time trusting others, been disappointed, or you feel the need to prove something to other people or even yourself.
On Couch Talk Radio, I discuss how these pre-existing thoughts of being independent, can stems from a role in your life or a role you witnessed in your family. In this role you or the person you witnessed was unable take control in the household or had trouble controlling life circumstances. It is natural to make decisions that will help you take control, based off of your experiences and feeling the need to not be in that dependent role.
Doing it alone is overrated!
Everybody needs somebody to help them through life. Yes, it is true that some times you have to make it through alone and encourage yourself, but that is to grow you and help you strengthen you in areas where you have been weak or dependent. Even being independent is considered in some ways a dependency, because it’s easier to do yourself, than be disappointed or taken advantage of. Bottom line is, there is always a time when people come into your life to lessen or remove burdens and it is up to you to learn how to determine which opportunity to open yourself to. There is always a risk of getting hurt, but that is a sign of you gaining wisdom for yourself and others.
Some times we lose ourselves in being that “independent woman” to cover up our insecurities.
To be truly independent you have to deal with certain issues and stop hiding being the cover ups, such as over compensation with being independent. In the end you are going to miss out of life because you are too occupied with trying to be all and do all by yourself. It is not possible or necessary to be this woman without negative mental and emotional consequences, such as burn-out, stress, anxiety, depression, loss of concentration, exhaustion, etc…
So, I ask you does being an independent woman make you weak when you ask for help?
If you feel that way, then there is an inside job you need to do and take it seriously. Being independent is understanding when enough is enough and that it is time to stop hiding and deal with ugly stuff that has you going in circles in one part of your life or another.
Healing is what you need. Being independent is about being free to live as you please, but you cannot live the life you want if you cannot put certain issues to rest and release the things you have no control over.
On my Couch Talk Radio show I talk about 3 things you need to identify to heal and honestly be independent and free of the past that has been limiting you and making you believe the “independent woman” hype. LISTEN NOW!
Don’t get me wrong! There’s nothing wrong with be independent!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being an independent woman, because I am very independent and have been for years! The problem I had before I recognized real independence, was that I did not have any room for anybody else. I actually experienced what I mentioned above…stress (with knots in my shoulders and muscle spasms), burn-out (headaches and exhaustion), loss of concentration on the job, terrible attitude at home and in relationships, and depression (constantly crying, sleeping, drinking…). So, I am not just talking (or typing) out of my wazzu.
This independent woman mess, messed up relationships, having a social life, spending valuable time with my son, and many other opportunities. It wasn’t until I had to spend some time alone, with myself, and still being independent…that I realized this is not how I want to live, so I learned to trust on faith, but with wisdom and I learned that allowing the right people in your life to help at the right time, is strength not weakness. I became less stressed, less moody, had more focus, and was over all happier and grateful instead of drained and complaining.
You can get specific examples on Couch Talk Radio of how I allowed my “independent woman” status to ruin my relationship, cause emotional and physical pain, hinder my career goals, and lose my personal identity in the process. LISTEN NOW!
Until Next Time…leap off the couch into your new future be independent and free of baggage!
Ashley M Dais