I am so used to things going my way.
I get very disappointed when things are uncertain. Which is very crazy, because my behavior is the most uncertain. It is based upon my mood at the time. I don’t plan in advance, nor do I commit to much, which is a problem in itself.
There are times when I feel pretty certain of my outcome, such as when it comes to my job, career moves, and opportunities. I am almost always confident in by skills, knowledge, and abilities. Today was different for me in that confidence area. I am not sure why, but it was very strange. This time, I had to be reassured and encouraged by multiple people. I prayed about this experience that was taking place, that it would be for me, it was meant to be.
Normally, my faith outweighs any doubts, but this was unwavering doubt.
Now, I have been reading up on discerning God’s will this week and I can surely say that he has without a doubt revealed some things within myself to me and some intentions of people to me. It has lead me to make some firm decisions, regardless of how much I didn’t want to. With that said, I wonder if this unwavering lack of confidence and doubt is discernment?
Which is could explain my less confident behavior and seeking of validation from others. This is not like me at all, but after the experience, I felt disappointed.
HAVE YOU EVER, REEEEALLY WANT WANTED SOMETHING?
Only to find out, it wasn’t for you or it wasn’t your time? That feeling sucks! Mainly, because there is nothing you can do to change the outcome. It is out of your control, so then your emotions become out of control and you get get angry or sad. But you know it’s what is best for you.
One thing to remember…
It is ok to be upset or sad over a disappointing experience, especially one that you are so eager to make happen in your life. On top of that, you must also remember, that every opportunity isn’t your opportunity.
Want to hear something crazy?
I kept telling myself this every since the potential opportunity came open. However, I went forth with an open mind…well, so I thought. My mind wasn’t really all that open due the the lack of confidence I had going in.
I truly believed that is what tripped me up, my belief played a significant part in my outcome…by they way I haven’t received an outcome, yet. So, I guess my faith and confidence is still up for increase. (See how talking this out helps?)
Play the tape all the way through!
It’s important to process your feelings and moods about situations that you are placed in to get an accurate perception of your personal thought content. This is how you combat irrational beliefs about yourself and situations. What may seem to be the end answer, may not be an answer at all. It’s just the answer that you have made up as a defense mechanism.
Don’t just stop at the negative, play the entire scenario through your head and evaluate your perception against what could be and take the positive approach to the perception. At the same time, understand it is not within your control at a certain point and you have to trust that what is best for you will be the outcome. Even if you are banking on something different.
Until Next Time…Leap off the couch into your new future understanding and evaluating your perception.
Ashley M Dais