Just because you want it to happen, doesn’t mean it should happen.
There were many of days and times when I wanted something to happen on the job, with my business, or with a relationship that didn’t happen. There were also many times when what I wanted did happen, but with a cost.
When opportunities passed me by or doors were closed on a friendship, or opportunities fell through…I would ask why me? What have I done that was so terrible that I cannot get my way this time. Then I would think back to things that I have done wrong in the past, and I felt that I was being punished. Then I would come to my senses and understand that it wasn’t punishment, it was me being saved or taught a lesson.
I Learned To Never Doubt My Belief.
A couple of years ago, I lived in disappointment. Year after year, opportunity after opportunity, date after date…it just seemed to not ever go my way! I mean I prayed and I prayed hard and I prayed often for answers and for direction. It seemed to fall upon deaf ears. I didn’t want to believe that, after all, my faith was stronger than that, but I couldn’t help but wonder why I couldn’t get ahead. Everything was so emotionally painful and mentally draining. I always get an answer, just not when I want it or what I want to hear, just read the message I got in the shower.
I Learned To Keep Pressing In Face of Defeat.
I was exhausted! I was tired of trying to stay focused and patient and wait my turn. It seemed like my turn just wasn’t coming. Sad thing is that I knew better than to think that way, but I couldn’t help it. I still felt like I was being punished. I feel into a depression, where all I wanted to do was sleep and if it was the weekend, forget a showering until Sunday night! I was in a serious funk and could not shake the feeling. I did what I had to do to make sure I didn’t lose my job and could support myself, but I had lost all motivation at work, in my business, writing my book at the time, and even talking to my friends. Regardless of how I felt, it was still important to me, that I never gave up. I had trouble staying focused, sure…but I still recognized and honored my priorities in the middle of the mental struggle of defeat.
I Learned To Self-Resiliency and Vulnerability.
Unfortunately, I hid all of this very well. No one knew I was struggling, so no one knew to check on me. I chose to hide my problems from the people that love me the most because I was too embarrassed to appear weak. After all, I created this problem by moving away from everyone to follow my dream. So, I felt this was something that I had to deal with on my own. As you can see from above…that didn’t work out much. One thing I knew about myself, is that I had to snap out of it and get it together to do anything productive. Even though it wasn’t smart to hide my feelings from the people who cared about me the most, I still managed to bounce back. Fortunately, I have learned to communicate better and when it’s time to ask for a shoulder to lean on.
I Learned That My Strength Not Only Lie In My Faith, But Also My Gift.
So, that is what I did! I threw myself back into work, helping people with my gift of counseling and life coaching; and I started back writing my book. Now, please don’t get me wrong…I didn’t just snap back like a rubber band. It took some hard-conscious effort to help other people with their problems, all while going through my own. In the process of this forced effort, I learned more about what I was capable of, what it would take for me to refocus on my vision-goals-purpose, and what I needed to do for myself in order to restore healing and balance in my life, this is how I was able to add the last lessons of my book.
I Learned To Admit To Myself That I had Issues…and To Let Go Of Pride
Ain’t gonna lie…It was hard as hell and I had some periods where I digressed, but it became quicker and quicker to snap out of it. Like I said before, I had to make conscious efforts to deal with what I was feeling. There are times when I must be conscious today of how I am feeling and how I am letting it affect the inner parts of me. Truth is, it reminds me that I am the same as everyone I help through their problems. No one is exempt from experiencing pain, but everyone has a choice in how they deal with it. Be open to being honest with yourself and commit to doing the work it takes to help you push past the feelings your life brings upon you. No one wants to think of themselves as weak or not being able to handle a setback or disappointments, especially not me. Not to myself or anyone else. Once I was able to do this, my world inside out became less stressful and confused.
I Learned To Be Careful and Mindful Of What Cross My Path.
You should be careful and mindful. Not every opportunity is meant to be a good opportunity. Not every relationship was meant to happen. These things were prevented in my life because they would have caused setbacks in my career and my personal life. Just because I thought I was ready, didn’t mean I was ready. I still had a growing and learning to do for the positions in which I was called for. I would not have been prepared for what is today, had I got what I wanted or what I thought I deserved at the time. Patience is a virtue that is heavily weighted and worth it, yet I still struggle with it. I still call upon my faith to help me through. Make sure you have an in place what you need when the struggle returns.
Until Next Time…Leap off the couch into your new future being happy for not getting what you want and that you will always get what you deserve!
Ashley M Dais
P.S. If you want to learn from the lessons that helped me restructure, refocus, and restore my life despite my depression, you can grab your copy of Ten Lessons To Renovate Your Life here!