5 Ways To Work Through Depression
Depression can be experienced at many levels and for a multitude of reasons and some can’t just “snap out of it” and move on with their life, but they can recover with the right mindset in place.
I understand the weight of depression and it can feel like the earth is lying on top of you or rolling down the hill behind you, waiting to bold you over. At first, I just thought I was being lazy all the time, sleeping, not wanting to take a shower, and not wanting to clean my house. These are all things that are common and people don’t realize it’s because of depression.
One particular thing I can relate to was quote #22 from an article about unrecognized signs of depression, written by Sarah Schuster.
“I smile all the time even though I don’t really want to, but I do it because I don’t feel like I’m allowed to be sad when I’m with other people. I also do whatever it takes to make someone else happy because since I don’t feel happy most of the time, it just makes me feel a little better seeing someone else happy. I also isolate myself even though sometimes I really just want someone around.” — Wendy E.
Owning the false perception of how you (think you) should be when you are around other people, creates a devastating cycle that causes you not to deal with your feelings. How can you deal with something, when you don’t acknowledge that there is something wrong?
This happens when we allow our mental stability to take control of us and control every emotion we have. Your mind is made up of a very powerful belief system. If you don’t make the effort to rebuild your foundational thinking process (change the way you think about your emotions), then you will continue to lose yourself in your unhappiness, by bottling things up pretending that your emotions do not exist.
I have cried day and night; is anybody out there to hear my cry, I asked. My heart and mind were full of trouble and I was hurting. I had lost my strength emotionally and mentally. I was tired of trying to make myself feel better on the inside. I was broken and confused.
As I continued this cycle over and over again…feel better…feel depressed…feel better…feel depressed, something finally SNAPPED and I learned a new cycle that helped me whenever I was falling into a fog of sadness.
It wasn’t easy…I still spent time engaged in things that were not conducive to my mental and emotional state but helped me move past destructive ways of coping. So, through the process of my mess and my unhappiness, I continued to push through those negative feelings and thoughts until I learned a better way.
I made had to make a plan for myself to beat the depression. I knew I could not let this take me out! I have too much purpose for that!
MY 5 TIPS FOR WORKING THROUGH DEPRESSION ARE:
1. Give yourself permission to be sad.
You are human, for God’s sake! You are allowed to be sad. True sometimes, sadness is a bit deeper and longer than some people’s sadness…nonetheless, these are your feelings and you are allowed to have them. I give myself permission to be sad for whatever the reason may be (and as women, you know sometimes we don’t know the reason) because my feelings are important. It’s all about feeling what you feel, showing yourself that you matter, and giving yourself time to process through those feelings.
2. Limit the amount of time you allow yourself to wallow.
Show some discipline! Easier said than done, right? Of course, it is…however, the practice of anything makes you better and stronger at it. As I said in #1…give yourself permission to be sad, but don’t give yourself permission (or an excuse) to wallow in your feelings. That’s just unhealthy, man. Like I said, there is magic depression eraser, but there is the intention. When you set your intention on how something is going to play out for you, you must believe it will work for it to work. If you set your intention when the intention that “oh this won’t help me,” then it won’t! You can’t say something don’t work without the effort of trying.
- Limit the time you spend on negative thinking
- Limit the time you spend speaking negatively.
- Limit the time you spend complaining.
- Limit the time you spend obsessing over what you cannot control.
- Limit the time you spend laying on the couch.
- Limit the time you spend isolated.
- Limit the time you spend blaming yourself.
3. Talk Through Your Feelings.
One thing that helps me come out of my funk, is talking about my funk. Now, during the time when I give myself permission to be sad…I am not talking to anyone about anything. When my pity party is over, I reach out to a friend and talk about how confused I am about my why I am sad. This helps me process through my feelings out loud. I am not looking for advice, just an ear during this time. Nine times out of Ten, I slowly begin to understand what led to the deep sadness that turned into depression. So, make it a point to talk through your feelings, even if nothing changes, at least you aren’t keeping it bottled up.
4. Do something for yourself.
If I don’t believe NOTHING else…I definitely believe in doing something that makes me feel good! Some people have so much trouble with this aspect, but having something to look forward to, that is your time is extremely therapeutic. I’m not talking about some grand vacations or anything, but it can be as small as going to the beauty supply store for eyeliner or mascara, going to the movies, walking around Wal-Mart or Target (with no intention to buy anything), getting a pedicure, reading a book in a quiet space, sitting outside before the kids come home with a glass of wine, or whatever makes you feel good. It is absolutely important to do something for yourself, especially during this time.
5. Clean Up!
Last, but certainly not least! Clean the hell up! Clean your room, your closet, the bathroom, the kitchen, and your car. There is nothing that keeps you more depressed, unproductive, and unmotivated than an unkempt home and/or car. When I am in my depressed mood, my room, closet, and care are the things I neglect to keep straightened. I have a fabulous look when I walk out of the house, but inside my home tells how I really feel. So, when my time limit is up, this is my priority. It clears my mind, gives me peace, and gives me comfort. Clean Up! It will make a difference in how you feel.
Long story short…With the actions I took to pursue getting my emotional strength and positive mindset back, I was able to adjust and transition back to a healthy frame of mind. Let’s not get it twisted, this isn’t a cure-all, but it is a way to manage and bounce back from depressed moods.
Don’t get confused by your feelings and your thoughts…
they have to be molded and shaped in order to build or rebuild that strong mindset foundation that is going to change your life. But you have to stay committed. You will have down days, bad days, stressful days, weary days, but if you stop too long, your cycle begins all over again.