Side Effects of You
emotional wellness

Side Effects Of Settling For Less

“I was looking for a cure to pull me through…” (Fantasia, 2013).

Side Effects of You
Photo by: James Palinsad

I think we can all relate to this at some point in our lives. We are human and when things are not going the way we thing they should, we often look to something outside of ourselves to fill the void and pull us out of the state of mind or situation that we are in at the time.

The secret is…there is no cure outside of ourselves. The cure is inside of each and every one of us. There is nothing externally that can help pull us out of our own mind, emotions, and/or situation. Don’t get me wrong, you can find support, but you have to do the conscious work to help yourself get out of the funk you are in.

The more you depend on something or someone to pull you through a situation, the more it will suck the life out of you and you become someone you can hardly recognize if you are recognizable at all. Do not become a victim of circumstance or bound by negative thoughts and emotions. Fight for your life to be as you want it. When you change your state of mind to one that reflects positivity and solutions, versus negativity and complaints, then your mind, body and spirit has no choice by to conform.


“Tried to decide which medicine to use; and every bottle had your name on the label;

Doctor said, you keep me stable;

So now I’m taking three a day to help me smile, they said I should wait and try it for a while;

So I been ignoring my symptoms and the small print on the back of my prescription.”

     Fantasia (2013). Side Effects Of You Lyrics: Innovation Pictures YouTube Channel.

“What I’m gonna do is…fever over 98, you hold me and my body shakes

See nobody told me, nobody told me THE SIDE EFFECTS OF YOU;

Losing Balance, falling down, sleepless nights whenever you’re around;

…Sometimes every part of me shaking. Is this the right pill that I’m taking?”


Am I right or am I right?

We often question if things, people, careers, situations are right for us…usually on a daily basis. Be we Know, truth be told, that if it is causing us that much pain and heartache, it can’t be right! Unfortunately, we trick our minds into believing it will get better if we hold on a little while longer or that we have to endure the pain or discomfort in order to be comfortable and secure (what an oxymoron).

I am certainly guilty of it!

I thought that I needed to hang on to a certain career and endure the pain AND discomfort of being taken advantage of, overworked, underpaid, and dismissed in order to be “financially secure” and comfortable in my lifestyle. Oh, yeah…I had plans of getting out. Problem is I wasn’t acting on them! It was all in my head! I knew God had more for me, but I wasn’t acting like I wanted it. I would never find a way out, if I wasn’t actively looking for one. So, I had to make a decision. Do I remain in discomfort and pain or do I find a way out, set time specific goals, and work the plan? Believe me…the pain and discomfort finally made the decision for me; I began to have more stress, anger, and depression than ever before in my life combined!

The trick is to trick your mind into being uncomfortable with the pain instead of settling out of convenience. You have to choose when enough is enough.

Like the song says…

What are you going to do with all of these side effects that’s messing with your body and your mind? NOTHING…you cannot function in life when you are miserable. It affects everything you come in contact with; and you can forget any kind of productivity or healthy relationships.

Ashley M Dais
Side Effects Of Unhealthy Relationships

Oh, but my career wasn’t the only thing that gave me side effects…When it came to this man…

Oh, my was I dumb. I think the pain had made me dumber and a glutton for punishment, because I just kept putting myself in vulnerable situations with this one particular man who didn’t want me. Tell me if that’s not pain and stupidity…nonetheless, I am human and I thought time would change his mind. WRONG, yet again! All I got was more heartache!

Finally, I was able to let go. I knew my worth, somehow, I misplaced it during this time. BUT I found it again and decided to never take myself down to that level again. It wasn’t easy, because he was also my best friend, but I had to do what was best for me, no matter who I hurt, including myself. It took time, but I was determined to heal and refused to carry it with me as I moved on.

My point is…take the first step

Pain and discomfort is no way to live, no matter how secure or comfortable you think your lifestyle is. Your mental and emotional wellness comes first. Although, I recognize, you can always just get up and leave a situation, but you can make plans and start taking action to remove yourself from negative situations. You are not bound to any person, thing, or job. Start making your own way out. I can’t promise it will be easy, but it will always be worth it.


Until next time leap off the couch into your new future…releasing the pain!



Ashley M Dais


iTunes: Fantasia: Side Effects Album

YouTube: Fantasia Side Effects Lyrics


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